i couldn't sleep. again. and it's 3.18am. if u see there's a few posts in a day, that means i can't sleep. it has no cure really. i tried hot choc, milk, counting lambs, you name it. except pills, i don't believe in sleeping pill. i know it'll help, but i just doesn't like the idea of taking drugs.
warning: do not read. it's a crap!
Dedicated to the one who has no ear to hear nor eyes to see.
i would like to tell a story, a story never told nor spoken of. as it's kind of a taboo, for me. for it's showing my inner emotion, which i dare not do. it happened years ago, yet unforgotten. on one sunny day, there was this boy came knocking the door (it was door bell actually, just making it's more dramatic). i first thought he was a salesman, and i kind of ignored & rude to him. then, he said he wants to meet my boss. he knew the name, so what the heck, i asked him in. he was so cute back then, and good looking is what i'm looking for. the first thing on my list has been checked. it just a bit of crush at first sight :p
then, we became friend yet remains stranger at the same time. i do have a crush on him. i have a lot of crushes, yes, but i couldn't fall head over heel kind of thing. sometimes, we have our own little secret, it's like there was a tiny world for us. there was some kind of similarities and differences which makes him more attractive, yet there's something about him that i couldn't figured out. you see, i have this ability to guess people's mind by intuition. most of the times, i was right. but yet, although i sense something wrong, i mostly trust that person until my intuition proved to be right. with him, mysterious it's remains. for me, to like someone is to find the most attractive thing about that person and to hate someone, you need to find the least interesting about him. it came to a certain point, until i have no reason to like him nor hate him. which, it struck me.
supposedly, i would have known him way back from the first time i met him. way back at the uni. i knew a person who knew him and know some story about him although i never met him. just some story people tells about someone thingy. my friends have met him. i guess only me did not or did we? i don't know. we probably have crossed path but never noticed.
eventually, we both left and lost contact. i do missed him, but then, by times, he disappeared from my mind but never forgotten. i have new crushes and found new people. well, just simply started a new life.
but one day, he appeared. there was a message from him in my im. we chatted and followed by we met up. he was being more complicated than before. there was times when he treats me so nice that i thought he has a "thing" for me. but there was times when he completely ignores me.
the last time i met him, i sleep over. don't get me wrong. nothing happened. we did sleep side by side. it was intended. i wanted to see how he reacted. he was all that i thought of. a perfect gentlemen. and that, makes me fall for him. but since then, i haven't meet him nor spoken to him. tried to contact him, a total disappointment. besides, he would ignore me.
like a good love story, it won't have a perfect ending. like romeo & juliet, both died in the end. what a complete idiots. well, mine was an unspoken one. now, it was time to let go. it was so hard as i really liked him. and it wasn't easy for me to fall in love.
until now, he's the reason of my sleepless night.
